Too Tall To Love

‘It must be difficult for you to find a boyfriend’ said the coked-up 35-year-old wearing a backwards baseball cap. He was sat precariously on the balcony ledge, 15 floors up, and I had half a mind to push him. Again, here was a man attempting a conversation that I have had many times before. It…

Punchdrunk’s Kabeiroi: A review

Night has fallen outside Euston station and I don’t have much time. She said she’d be back in touch in five minutes; I have already had three of them but I badly need a cigarette. I make a beeline for a man who is sparking his own. He hands me a Marlboro Gold and I…

A Hemingway Holiday

Five years ago I was sat on the eighteenth floor of my university’s library, as the Glasgow rain lashed violently at the window, when my phone buzzed to interrupt my study (of memes). It was a text from my father: ‘Liddy. Greetings from Havana. I’m in La Floridita drinking daiquiris like Ernest Hemingway. Ha. Dad…

Jeff Koons X Louis Vuitton: The Emperor’s New Bag.

Jeff Koons’ recent collaboration with Louis Vuitton is hideous. In fact, it is so hideous that the bags and accessories could be used as a pilot suitability test: if they are thought of as attractive the applicant is either colour blind or has severely impaired judgement. Either way, they are not fit to fly. The…