Like a Marlboro Light
Like a Marlboro Light
You lit me up that night.
I begged you not to smoke me
For I knew what you would do
You’d burn me up, then stamp me out
Left on pavement when you’re through.
Although smoke rings may be beautiful
They die the higher they go
You breathed me deep and blew me out
Then didn’t want to know.
You watched me ash with satisfaction
Disintegrate before your eyes
You coaxed me into staying alight
With your sweet words and lies.
I want to wet your matches
And smash your lighter too
So your days of smoking
Might finally be through.
Your lips – they sucked it all away
On you I wanted to depend
But I take small comfort in the fact
That it will kill you in the end.
Chocolate Brownie Self Loathing
Gorged on the gooey, gluten-free, guck.
Swallowed it down like a slut
Now it’s stuck.
Salvi-lubed the buttery, blub, bulk
Wet-riding down my tract as I sulk
I ate the sweet tasting turd
Licked and enjoyed it: merd
I think I might want to be fat
Lard-languish in my gut shaped vat
A foul yat.
I’ll never be slinky, slunky, slight
Eating that gunk I gave up my right.
SHE would not have bit,
And if she had then she’d spit
Oh shit. I’ll shit it out.
But the burden will stay, build by the day
And I’ll munch more, and why? what for?
Its better then starving. My future I’m carving.
Slurp, bloat, burp. Bite.
That will serve me right.
I’ve taught myself a lesson.
L.A : Lovers Anonymous
Chemical enhance/ wide-eyed romance.
You offered me a chat up line.
Pick ya poison? You were mine.
Snorted at you, then I swallowed you – jellied legs and smacking lips.
I crushed you and I ground you – you’re the fix I tried to fix.
Oh the revelry! The rapture! – but with highs must come the lows.
Climaxing cries of “More! More! More!” – and so the habit grows.
I lost the terra firma.
I lost the will to look.
Lost my passport and my pencil – sold it for a hook.
I’m weaning myself off you now – hot shakes when I’m in my bed.
I used to shake a different way – but concrete fills my head.
I’m glad I got to know it – I’m told that I’ll be stronger.
But I wouldn’t touch a flake of you – don’t crave it any longer.
I can’t look at his face.
His expressions have meaning I wish to erase.
A prayer in stare of eyes you don’t love:
Blasphemous to those that you do.
It will cut you and stab you and break you in half.
Gouge out, then find someone new.
I got a match!
Lit him to burn!
I think he flickers pretty
I think his flame is gold
Dancing in the darkness
But nothing I can hold.
If I cry I’ll snuff him out
Hold breath and he’ll be gone
Must drop him in a petrol tank
Go BANG! Not sing-a-song.
Nobody Understands Me (Except for Sylvia Plath)
Nobody understands me,
Except for Sylvia Plath.
It was a queer, sultry summer
Now I pace the aftermath.
I bit you hard upon the face
It felt right but I feel wrong
Overnight and very whitely
Dream a mad girls love song.
Like a woman loves a facist
I loved the bones of you
I tried to return there
Back to boot and screw.
Don’t call me a slut
I’m just your silly girl
Want my foot in the door
So I can stomp the world.
Like a cat I’ve had my chances
See my scars, I’ve got a few
Gas and Air! Gas and Air!
Any breath will do.
Did I make you up?
My lips are turning blue
I lived for you, you bastard
Ich Ich ich. I’m through.
You are a portal. You are an X-ray.
Eureka! Rubix cube clicks. Bang! Patterns explode.
(Cue eye rolls from the Espresso Martinis)
(I think only you understand)
To know you is to see electrical current.
To know you is to realise that pleasure is pain.
To know you is to cry from gut and bleed from throat
Then dance in the fluids.
But to know you leaves me stripped of all
My synthetic madness
My pathetic posing
My kick-the-walls-in me-me-me attempts at liberty
which I abandon for cashmere comfort.
I’m a fraud.
You are the only thing real I’ve ever touched.
Parallel, yet vertically virtuous
Revolting and revealing
A hedonistic heart
Never a sorry.
I’m so envious of your freedom.
I think, really, we all are.
I fucked an elephant once
Just coz he was in the room
Who’d have thunk, with his long trunk, there was hardly any room.
I fucked Satan twice
He wrapped his talons round my neck
Sold my soul coz he was horny
And I thought ‘hey what the heck.’
I fucked a ghost three times
And he came right through me
Saw his floating in the hall and he denied he ever knew me.
I fucked a magic-man four times
He had some tricks shoved up his sleeve
He showed my cards, they turned to ash
and then he wouldn’t leave.
But I fucked me the most.
Fucked me up good and proper.
Stuck it in and failed to win
Why didn’t you yell ‘stop her.’